


Don't let John drink

by Deathrrose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Couch Cuddles, Drinking, Drunk John, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathrrose/pseuds/Deathrrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets drunk and when drunk he gets bit flirty without knowing so and gets in trouble with a girls boyfriend at the bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't let John drink

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short thing I did for a friend. Also to show I'm still around and workin' on next chapter of Dave's struggle for all those that have been askin'
> 
> Editor credit: heirofbreath.tumblr.com

It’s pretty late at night. John just got out of school an hour ago for winter break and the first thing he does is go to the nearest bar to get drunk. It’s been a pretty bad year for John. He made a promise not to drink because he needed to focus it all on school work. And the last time he got drunk on a school night he had a pop quiz the following day...he failed since he had a really bad hangover. John’s also been having some problems with a few guys at school that are totally jealous of him for having a hot boyfriend that is also way too popular at the clubs.

 Sometimes he wonders if moving to New York was the best idea, but John wanted to get away from his home state and attend one of the best music schools New York as well. And Rose is letting him stay at her place free of charge (even though he rarely actually stays at her place). He would have gone to the one in Texas, but he didn’t want to deal with the heat and homophobes down there. Plus John’s boyfriend was more than willing to move up here to New York, ever since his little brother moved out overseas for college.

An hour after arriving at the bar, John is already starting to get drunk. He takes another swing of his beer before some cute girl with way too much showing walks up behind him.

“Hey there cutie, mind if I sit next to you?” John turns to look at her to say hi back, but is greeted with breast almost in his face with how close she is to him. He turns back around right away before he gets any thoughts he shouldn’t.

“Uhh..yeah, sure..if you want to. I mean I’m not sure why you’d want to sit next to me when theres a nice looking guy over there staring at you.” She smiles and takes the seat next to John.

“Yeah, but he ain’t as cute as you. Now come on, what you drinking there?” She takes the cup out of his hands and takes a sip. John just looks at her confused. Geez she’s bold enough to just take Johns drink for all she knows he could have a deadly illness or the drink could have been spiked.

She finishes the rest of it off and places it on the counter. “Damn that was pretty good, but I think you need a little something stronger. Hey bartender!” she waves at the bartender leaning over a bit, getting his attention from the other end of the bar.

“Yes, what can I get you?”

“Do you happen to know how to make an alien brain hemorrhage drink?” John looks at her confused again. That drink sounds really odd, like she just made it up. She waves a hand in front of your face a bit while telling you to shush.

“Oh. Why, yes I do. Though not many people ask for it, so I’m not sure if it’ll be perfect.”

“That’s fine! I’ll order five then!” she bounces in her seat a bit. And hands the man her credit card to pay for the drinks.

“Oh man, I haven’t had this drink in so long. It surely will get anyone drunk! It also taste really great,” John just shrugs at her “Hey cutie,” She pokes at his arm that’s resting on the counter. “What you doing here so late at night and why haven’t I seen ya around before?”

“Just got out of school. Made a promise not to drink during school time.”

“Aww! That’s lame! You should come here more often we could have some fun!”

 “Uhh yeah, maybe.” John honestly doesn’t know how to deal with cute girls. Let alone hyper ones, so he feels a bit awkward around her right now, but tries and act normal. “So why are you here so late?”

“Oh, that’s easy! To have some fun and meet cute guys!” The bartender then comes back with the shots she ordered and hands her card back. She slides two of them to John and places the extra one between John’s and her drinks. John lifts up one of the drinks and stares at how it looks.

“This does not look like it’d taste good at all. It looks like some weird puke. Haha, this would be something interesting to prank someone with though!” That earns a small laugh from the girl before she drinks the shot and places the cup upside down on the counter.

“Try it! It’s really good!”

John hesitates for a bit before drinking it all in one go and he does the same thing with the cup as the girl did. “Wow that…that actually tasted a lot better than I thought!”

“Right?!? I told you so.” With that she drinks the other one she has, and so do you.

During the next hour, John has gotten a bit flirtier towards the girl and she has yet to revel her name even after him asking her several times.

“Awwww, come on tell me your name!!” John pouts at the girl who is leaning a little too close to him.

She giggles at him “Nooooooope! You gotta earn it! We could go back to my place it’s jus-”

“Sarah, what are you doing here again.” John jumps in his chair at the sudden deep voice behind him. “What the fuck did I tell you about coming here and who the hell is this guy. I told you not to try and bring lost puppies home again”

“Uh, I’m not a lost puppy you asshole!” John sets a glare at the man “And…and um I was not going to go home with uh Sarah..I…I already have someone.”

“Awwwwww whaaaaat, then why were you flirtin’?”

Before John can even respond, the man grabs the front of his shirt and lifts him up. “So, you be flirting with my girl huh?”

“Yes. I mean n-no, sort of? No-not really! Li-like I said I-I have someone! I was just doing it for fun ya know? An-and like I ha-have been drinking too.”

“That don’t make a difference. You flirted with my girl.” The man tightens his grip on John’s shirt “Say you’re sorry and I’ll let you go.”

“So-sorry sorry, but you gotta admit i-if she’s your girl why’d she flirt with me? Seems like she does not want you.” The man makes a tsking sound at him.

“Whoa hey shh baby” Sarah walks behind her boyfriend, tripping a bit on the way and grabs the man’s arm “Caaaalm dooown, it’s all good shhhhh” She places a hand on his cheek “Its okay. It was only for fun! I wasn’t really going to do anything!” The man calms down and lowers John back into his seat and lets go of his shirt.

“Heeeeey bartender give this guy one more drink for me pleasssse for the trouble of this man” she pats her boyfriend’s arm and the bartender nods.

“Sorry about that mate” the man pats John’s back “Lets go, sweetie.” The girl squeals as the man picks her up like a bride and the two of them leave the bar.

“Hey sir.” The bartender calls out to John and he turns around in his seat towards him. “You should call someone to pick you up before you drink this” The bartender places a cup of beer in front of you “It’s a bit strong and after that you’re gonna need it.”

John nods at him before fumbling to take his cell out and texts the first person in his contacts.

->To ♡: brrrooooo

->To ♡: broooo

->To ♡: anserw yoru texts.

->From ♡: Are you drunk?

->To ♡: whhhhat noooo.

->To ♡: i wolud never.

->From ♡: Yep, you’re drunk.

->From ♡: So I’m guessing you want me to go pick you up?

->To ♡: plesea?

->From ♡: Give me ten minutes and I’ll be there.

 ->To ♡: thnak yuo youre the bset evre!!

John puts his phone away after replying. He’s glad Bro is willing to pick him up. He always is after he gets drunk like this. Sometimes John worries that doing this is a bother to Bro, but he guesses not since he still puts up with it each time and doesn’t get yelled at for it. Twelve minutes after telling Bro to pick him up, John has finished the drink and is now resting his head on the counter waiting for Bro.

“Hey there sweetcheeks.” John jumps in his chair. If Bro didn’t have his hand on John’s back he would have fell. “Whoa there, it’s just me.”

John looks up at him “Brrrooo don’t do that!”

“Hey, ain’t my fault you’re a drunken mess that gets spooked easy.” Bro ruffles his hair a bit “Now c’mon let’s get ya to my place.”

John nods in agreement and gets up but the second he tries to walk he’s already stumbling. Bro rolls his eyes and picks John up just like the other guy did with Sarah, bridal style.

“Okay, yeah no you’re not walking you’ll fall before we even leave this building.”

John crosses his arms and pouts up at Bro “I wou-would not!!”

“Uh-huh, whatever you say, Egbert.” Bro takes him outside to his car, placing John in the passenger seat and putting the seatbelt on him before going to the driver’s seat.

“Di-did you know you’re the beeeest person eevvver.”

“Mhm.”

“Like eevver ever in tiimme.”

“Sure John.” Bro starts up the car and they leave for home.

“No like, you’re also the hottest person ever! Like wow! I couldn’t believe how hot you were when I met yo-you.”

“Nah, pretty sure you’re the hot one here.”

“No no no, you are too! You’re also nice! You always come off as a prick to people, bu-but I know yo-you’re a big teddy bear!”

“Flattery will get you nowhere tonight John. Not in your state.”

“Aww.” John pouts and looks out the window. He was hoping for a bit tonight but Bro doesn’t want to take advantage of a drunken John, even if they are together.

They finally get back to Bros apartment, and John fumbles to get his seatbelt off that it takes several tries before Bro gets out and around to open the passenger side’s door and un-buckles the seatbelt for John. He then picks him up again, closes the door and locks the car.

“Whhhhat Brrrooo, I could of done it!”

“I watched you for a good few minutes trying to un-do it with no success. So, no I don’t think ya could of.” Bro just gets a huff out of John.

Bro takes him up to his place and places John in his bed right away. “Stay here I’m goin’ to get ya some water.” Bro leaves and John gets under the blankets, laying down and trying not to fall asleep. Bro soon returns with no shades or hat or even a shirt on, and a glass of water.

“Hey sleepy head sit up and drink up.” Bro sits down next to John and holds the glass to him. John sits up, takes the glass and downs it all.

“Good, now lie back down and get some sleep.” Bro leans over and places the cup on the nightstand.

“Nooot till you lie with me and cuddle me.” Bro doesn’t respond just gets under the blankets behind John. He wraps an arm around John’s torso and makes him lay down with him. Before Bro falls asleep he kisses Johns head.

The next morning, Bro wakes up and tries to get out of bed, but wakes the sleeping John who grumbles and wraps his arms around him, keeping him from leaving.

“God damn it. John let me go.”

“No, shut up and go back to sleep.”

“Egbert, you damn well know I’m not going back to sleep.”

“Shhhh you’re being loud now and loud equals bad with a hangover.”

Bro sighs and kisses John’s forehead. He then grabs his arms and moves them away from around him and quickly moves away and off the bed before John can get a hold of him again. John grumbles more but goes back to sleep.

A half an hour later John’s woken up by the smell of pancakes being made. He wraps a black blanket around him and gets up out of bed and slowly walks out and into the kitchen.

“Mornin’ sleeping beauty.” Bro said with a smirk.

 John growls at Bro which only makes Bro laugh a little. John then sits at the counter by the kitchen. A plate of pancakes and eggs is set down in front of him, along with a glass of orange juice. Another set is placed down right next to his. Bro sits down next to John after giving him a small kiss on his cheek.

“By the way I think you might want these.” Bro places a bottle of pain killers next to John’s plate. “And when we’re done eating will cuddle up on the couch and have a movie marathon of your choice.”

“Even Ghostbusters?”

“As much as I hate ‘em, yes, even those ones.”

John smiles and leans over to give Bro a kiss on his lips. When they finish eating they cuddle up on the couch and start their marathon, but John falls asleep halfway through it, and so does Bro.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any questions or wanna show me something go to smuppetparade.tumblr.com


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